Posts Tagged ‘Brick Red Ale’

I awoke that Sunday morning, naked, laying next to Coco, who was face down and still wearing her dress from the night before. I put on a bathrobe and noticed the bathroom and hallway mats crumbled beneath the bed. How did those get there? No matter, I laid back down and Coco sheepishly looked over.

“We did good huh?” she said, realizing that she’d returned back to my place.

“Yea, I think we did,” I replied. We smiled and high-fived each other, laughing heartily. We faintly heard Jake bitterly telling us to “shut it!” and we quickly heard the pitter-patter of feet rushing over and in burst Dallas.

“Hold up before you high-five–neither of you have ANY idea what happened last night, do you??”

I should have known that waking up completely nude was never a good sign…


Post dress shopping, we met up with Jake and Rog for some dinner, themselves nurturing a fledgling “bromance.” We were already eating when Dallas arrived, so she stood in line to order her dish. While in line, she managed to have a verbal exchange with another patron, albeit brief, nonetheless a decent display of effortless flirtation. “She’s good,” said Coco, as she eyed Dallas’ technique.

From then on, we all got ready, steadily sipping and enjoying ourselves. We headed out. We ended up at the Ames Hotel on State Street. A hotel employee noticed us looking over the interesting hallways and took us on a personal tour of the place. “If you don’t know where we are, we don’t want you here,” he remarked, emphasizing the exclusivity of the place (must not be that exclusive if we found our way there). Leather ceilings, light fixtures and creepy hallways, reminiscent of a “REDRUM” moment in the “The Shining,” made a perfect backdrop to our Saturday night. When we returned, the party was already well-underway. The sleek, modern and white decor was a unique and different backdrop than what you’d normally expect to find in Boston.

Coco eyed a stocky specimen with more hair on his chest than any of us had on our heads. He was surrounded by plastic women of an older vintage–those women gave our group the evil eye throughout the evening. Eh. And just like that, Coco decided it was a no-go.

We were all smashed–even Zoe, who usually kept it together.

“Don’t let me go home with ‘Sam Adams’ over there,” whispered Coco to me, referencing the bartender who poured Jake an old fashioned.

“Geezus, Coco–NO–that will not happen,” I assured her.

Thankfully, Coco, Scarlett and Dallas set out back to my place–without me. I remained with Jake, Zoe and Rog and one of their friends, smoking outside the hotel and began the process of walking home.


“So this is why the high-fives should stop this instant!” started Dallas. “You two have absolutely no idea what happened last night, do you?”

Dallas explained that once home, Coco decided to kick Jake out of the tempra-pedic bed and help herself to it. Jake, eager to pass out, set up the air mattress in the kitchen and hoped that would be the end of it.

Jake noticed Coco had returned, standing over him in the kitchen.

“I have to pee,” Coco told Jake.

“So go pee,” Jake replied.

“I can’t…”

Jake, who couldn’t understand why Coco wouldn’t just pee in the bathroom, soon realized what was holding up the show–Reese. She was crumbled on the bathroom floor, wrapped up in the bed comforter, having made a makeshift bed in the bathroom.

“Reese–get up–Coco needs to pee and why are you sleeping on the bathroom floor?”

“What? I’m fine, I’m trying to get some sleep.”

That’s it! Jake began peeling the calm, almost serene Reese off the floor and into the bedroom. He felt a strange massaging motion on his ass–“Coco??”

Coco, laughing, was rubbing Jake’s ass as he peeled Reese off the floor. She scampered off and Jake forgot about the molestation and returned to dealing with his crumbled fiance.

Meanwhile, Dallas and Scarlett awoke to a stark crazy Coco who was drunkenly laughing hysterically and standing right in front of them.

At first, Dallas thought she was having a “REDRUM” moment of her own, but when she fully awoke, she realized it was Coco standing before her and asked, “Wait, are you peeing??”

“YES!” shouted a smiling Coco, fully dressed as she relieved herself, hands akimbo, while standing next to the Christmas tree.

Scarlett and Dallas instinctively pulled their bags out of harm’s way. Scarlett noticed her foot touching the sewage creeping up toward her, “It’s ok, urine is sterile…” she repeated over and over again.

Jake, about to loose it, rushed out of the apartment and began punching the hallway walls to relieve his pent-up rage. He and his swollen, bleeding knuckles, knocked gently on the door and Dallas let him in.

“I’m sorry,” he said especially to Dallas, who was new to the crew. “They’re not usually this crazy.” He rushed over to the kitchen and grabbed paper towels and cleaning supplies and they cleaned up the mess.

As they sopped up the mess, Coco decided it’d be a good idea to remove her tights, post-pee. She pulled her dress up over her head and removed her tights, now fully nude, and traversed the apartment. She somehow managed to rinse out her tights and crawled into bed. Reese was later dragged onto the bed next to her and must have woken up in the middle of the night to strip and continued napping.


After this revelation, Coco and I looked at each other and laughed, apologizing and realizing we were starving. We headed to Joe’s American Grill on Commerical Street for Brunch, where Zoe and Rog were brought up to speed. We ordered our drinks and waited for our food, “High five,” toasted Coco as she turned to me. Wearing Jake’s sweatpants and a stained sweatshirt, I went in for it–high five!!

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